L- Mildred! Where are you????
N- Weren’t you meant to meet her at a restaurant two hours ago?
L- Yeah, I did. We decided to play Hide and Seek. She hid, and I haven’t found her yet.
K- Oh. Well maybe she went to Egypt? I always wanted to go to Egypt. They have pyramids and lots of dead people in the ground. *gasp* maybe they killed Mildred!
L- Mildred wouldn’t go to Egypt, cause she said ‘I am not going to be in Egypt, so don’t look there’
K- Oh. I wanted to go to Egypt.
N- We’re GOING to Egypt.
L- No, we’re not
N- Dude, she told you she wouldn’t be there so you wouldn’t go there! That’s practically the oldest trick in the book! How dumb are you?
L- I am not dumb! Okay, fine we’ll go to Egypt. She won’t be there though!
K- Yay! Egypt! Pyramids! Dead people! EW.
F walks in
F- Egypt, huh? Well, I have no wish to go there, but Mildred owes me money, so I suppose I shall have to go and retrieve it.
N- What does she owe you money for?
F- I ‘escorted’ her to an ‘after party’
K- What kind of after party? My brother went to an after party once.
F- No particular kind of after party.
L- Okay, cool
N- Let’s go to the air port now
K- Look, we’re at the airport!
J is sitting at a desk
L- Remind me why we’re at the airport?
N- We’re going to Egypt.
F- I’m getting the money Mildred owes me.
K- EGYPT!
N- We should get on a plane. Excuse me sir, we would like to go to Egypt?
J- I’m afraid there are no planes to Egypt for three weeks, as the last one crashed.
L- Oh look! A plane! It says it’s going to Egypt!
K- Let’s get on the plane!
N- But we don’t have tickets!
J- No one cares, just get on the plane
L- You look strangely like Mildred......
J- Oh, dear, well I’m not Mildred. My name is Mildredania.
L- Okay, bye!
J disappears
K- Look! We’re on the plane. Look! We’re in Egypt!
N- We should go see a pyramid!
K- Look! We’re at a pyramid!
L- She’s not gonna be here!
*bad singing*
L- Its Mildred! She’s in the pyramid!
K- How do we get in the pyramid?
N- No idea.
K- Look! A button on the side of the pyramid! I wonder what will happen if I press the button?
*presses button*
K- Oh look. A secret door. Boring.
N- Awesome! A secret door!
F- ITS A SECRET DOOR, OH MY GOSH!!!! WOW CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH, SECRET DOOR?
L- Shut up Fred. I’m coming Mildred!!!!!
K- Shouldn’t we go in the door?
N- Probably.
K- Look! We’re in the pyramid looking for Mildred!
L- Miiiiiiildred!
F leaves
K- We have been looking for over an hour. *gasp* Why is Fred kissing a girl behind a piece of paper?
N- Creepy
L- MY EYES!
F- Hey, we’re busy, go away!
*bad singing*
L- Mildred!
L runs off
J- Hi everybody, I am Fred’s girlfriend from Spain!
K- Hi! We’re in a pyramid!
J- I know, that is so cool!
N- We should go find Luke before he does something stupid.
F- Come on, girlfriend from Spain! Er, what’s your name again?
J- Joe.
F- I like girlfriend from Spain better.
J- Oh.
They run off
J- Bye!
K- Bye!
N- Let’s go look for Luke, he might be dead.
K- Okay!
L (offstage) - Mildred, where are you!
K- But if he is bones, I will run away.
L walks on
L- Mildred is here somewhere! I heard her singing!
Mildred walks in
L- Mildred!
N- We’ll leave you two alone.....
K and N leave
J- Luke? You b*tch!
L- What did I do?
J- You made me play hide and seek! I wanted to play musical chairs! But Noooooo.....
L- You can’t play musical chairs with two people! Hide and seek can be played with any number of people!
J- No one cares about hide and seek!
L- I care!
J- You have five minutes to write your will.
L- Huh?
J- I will kill you, in four minutes and 55 seconds.
L tries to run, and J chases after him
F- Please, let’s just talk about this!
J- No, it’s OVER, b*tch! I’m not the girlfriend from Spain anymore! I’m not even Spanish! Goodbye Flred. And just to tell you? You S*CK at after parties!
J runs off
F- What? NOOOOO!!! Not AGAIN!
*pulls out phone*
F-Hi, is this girlfriend’s from Spain? Yes, this is Fred. I would like to hire a new girlfriend. What! $100 dollars a minute! What do you mean, I don’t treat them nicely? Just cause this is my 28th girlfriend from Spain. What? They’d have to be insane to want to be the 29th?? B*tch. I’m calling girlfriends from France. Have a horrible life.
*hangs up*
N and K come in
N- 28th girlfriend from Spain?
K- You must have been really horrible to them.
F- I still can’t believe she said I was bad at after parties! Maybe it’s cause she doesn’t like Bananas in Pyjamas?
N- Um, what?
F- Last after party, we watched bananas in pyjamas, while making pizza and having sandwiches.
N- Riiiiiight. That’s totally what you did.
K- Bananas in pyjamas? Aren’t they those weird yellow tall people with creep faces that chase teddy bears on Tuesday? No wonder the girlfriend from Spain ditched you. B1 and B2 are so stupid, they must have taken classes!
N- Yeah, they’re weird. Dude, shouldn’t we go see check on Mildred and Luyke?
L (from offstage) – ahhhhh! Don’t kill me Mildred!!!
K- one sec. Fred, can I borrow your phone?
F- Yah, sure
*gives k phone*
K- Let’s see.... recently called..... Girlfriends from Spain..... Right. Excuse me? Is this girlfriends from Spain? I’m calling to offer you a deal. You get to torture Floyd, if you can save this guy from his evil er, sister, Mildred. Okay, great. Bye!
*hangs up*
K- Fred, wait here. The new girlfriend from Spain will be here soon.
K and N go to find L
L- Wow, that was so weird. All these weird girls came and attacked Mildred. They took her that way, saying something about her being someone’s new girlfriend and finally getting revenge?
N- Yeah, we know. Can we go home now? I mean, we found Mildred.
K- But we’re in Egypt!!!
N- Yeah, so?
K- EGYPT?????
*ticking noise*
K- Hey, what’s that mysterious ticking noise?
They look around
L- I found the source of the ticking! It’s a pipe bomb!
N- Doesn’t this happen in harry potter? And don’t they all blow up?
K- Yeah. That was funny. And then Voldemort did the evil laugh and started dancing.
N- I have a bad feeling about this.
Bomb- beeeeeeeep
L- Oh crap
J walks across room holing sign ‘boom’
J- Evil laugh. Cough. The end